Today will not be the death of my self-confidence.
I refuse to use rejection as an excuse to reject myself.
I refuse to protect myself with smallness and fear.
I steer clear of any agreement or hint of insufficient worth.
I am quality.
And though today feels like a tragedy,
The story isn’t finished yet.
I get to write the rest,
Decide to see this as a test.
This is resilience in the making,
A baguette in the baking, just before it rises.
And even dough this moment hurts,
I will not hear out any voices of accusation.
There will be no execution of my self-confidence,
Except the positive definition of accomplished action.
I will welcome emotion: sadness, grief, confusion,
Anger and maybe even anxiety,
But I hold on to tomorrow’s reality,
Choose to live with certainty that this external non-validation is non-valid.
I frame this disappointment as pro-Self practice,
Interpret this as grit-building and conviction-deepening.
This is not the ending of my mirror-directed love.
My esteem for Bruce will bounce back.
It will not be side tracked by some outsider who didn’t jump on the train.
I hold pain, self-compassion,
A high opinion of my own ability to grow.
I know I have something to learn from this
Both/and I re-enlist for trust of my own gut,
Sign up again for my own intuition.
I won’t let this sad surprise seduce me back to live by eyes,
I have a good nose and it deserves another shot with the steering wheel.
So, though, I feel like my self-confidence is shaken,
I won’t pull back my bacon, won’t uninvest in my own chest,
Won’t switch over to stocks that seem safer.
This blow to my ego will not be a knockout punch.
I won’t give my lunch money to the voice of the bully,
I won’t give up this fight.
And though, in this instant, I struggle to see light,
My self-confidence won’t give up the ghost tonight.
The Varied Creations of Bruce Narbaitz 